The little general

Simmons has a stream-of-consciousness column up right now. Thoughts on weed fan Josh Howard:

Hey, just because the Mavs are long gone from the playoffs doesn’t mean we have to stop making Josh Howard jokes, right? Can we call the 2008 Mavericks team video “Howard and Kumar”? Do you think he ever tried to get Shawn Bradley high? Has Visine approached him about becoming its new endorser yet? Does he own a 7-foot bong that he named “Desagana?” How many times do you think he toked up with a teammate, then fell over in hysterics imitating Avery Johnson’s voice?

I’m only on Red Bull, but that’s a hilarious image.

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7 Responses to “The little general”

  1. sloan Says:

    this whole article is pretty edgy for simmons, or something on the ESPN empire:

    ie “All right, I’ll ask: How come it took three seconds to euthanize Eight Belles, but the WNBA is starting Year 12?”

  2. matt Says:

    I know she’s doing a fine job, but does it make me a sexist that I can’t listen to Doris Burke analyze NBA playoff games without thinking, “Woman talking woman talking woman talking woman talking …” the entire time?

    yes!

  3. sloan Says:

    yeah, that too. doris burke is just good—not good for a woman, good, end of story.

  4. sloan Says:

    simmons might be on tilt a little bit at this point. he’s taking shots at ESPN via a blog, he’s not writing much. at some point a while ago he said he was taking time off to work on his forthcoming book, and then in the klosterman podcast simmons basically said he wasn’t sure what the book was even about.

  5. zachary Says:

    i do the same thing when shes announcing. shes good, but its odd for some reason.

  6. Kenny Says:

    Is there a bigger lock than simmons leaving espn in a year and a half?

    From his blog:

    I thought it would be fun to post some of my old columns from the “Boston Sports Guy” site (where I wrote columns from May ’97 to June ’01), if only because none of them have a home on the internet right now. This particular one was written right as I was starting to find a groove and my column was starting to resemble what it’s like now, only if nobody was killing five of the best jokes or making me re-write them so they weren’t as funny.

  7. indeedindeed Says:

    jesus, yeah, he’s getting bitter.

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