I wish I could buy ESPN, fire Salisbury, and sell it to Mark Cuban

Sean Salisbury personifies all that is wrong with ESPN.

Guys like Herbstreit are annoying because they’re inherently biased, but at least they bring something in terms of analysis. Clayton isn’t exactly Mr. Excitement, but at least he has sources and brings unique info. Even someone like Stephen A. Smith has his moments. Even someone like Emmitt Smith was at one point a great player.

But Sean Salisbury combines the minimum of knowledge with the maximum of arrogance, the minimum of humor with the maximum of coarseness, the minimum of self-awareness with the maximum of self-hatred. It seems that most schoolyard bullies eventually get humbled and realize that they’re not god’s gift to the human race. But not Sean Salisbury, who for some reason is able to have a career despite being the least likable man on cable.

Watch the video. Maybe he was given some kind of insider information about what the question actually meant, but to Clayton and to us at home, Clayton gives an acceptable answer. The question was, is it better to have Shockey or Boss in the lineup? Salisbury saws Shockey is better, Clayton says Boss is better because Salisbury has been so injury-prone. Which makes sense. If you were going to have Shockey in this game, he’d probably not be 100%, because–you know–he’s been injured. Salisbury—the undisputed king of the ad hominem argument because he never has points good enough to back up on the evidence alone—then attacks Clayton for absolutely no reason.

It’s sad that Salisbury barely had enough talent to host BattleBots but has somehow climbed to the worldwide leader in sports. But, at least he’s finally proven one argument: that shit floats to the top.

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7 Responses to “I wish I could buy ESPN, fire Salisbury, and sell it to Mark Cuban”

  1. zachary Says:

    i hate salisbury, i think iwrote about that earlier. and good point jerry about well, everything.

  2. sloan Says:

    in fairness, i should have noted that i always liked john clayton—the dude is an old school actual reporter that doesn’t fit into the new SportsCenter format of “Everything must be argued by two people who don’t know anything.”

  3. matt Says:

    don’t forget, a classic salisbury moment, true professionalism

    http://deadspin.com/sports/sean-salisbury/if-sean-salisbury-asks-you-to-look-at-his-phone-dont-do-it-226599.php

  4. sloan Says:

    obviously i’m not big on salisbury, but that story never made sense to me. how could espn not fire him if he was doing that?

  5. zachary Says:

    i like clayton a lot. he says something that is normal reporting. youre right jerry. i can barely watch sportscenter anymore because its so damn fake and stylized.

    the fucking idiot who was moderating first and ten or cold hard facts whatever they call that was laughing at salisburys jokes.

  6. sloan Says:

    yeah, that was annoying. he’s laughing at the very beginning of the video too, so maybe there was some pre-video trash talking or something.

  7. a robot, piece of sloan Says:

    […] Salisbury—no friend to this blog—has been axed by ESPN. When leaving, he noted: “I have grown as much as I […]

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